11.24.2003
SwEeT ****: we need to make this dance thing happen tho
SwEeT ****: once we get big we can quit our jobs and travel
SwEeT ****: haha
SwEeT ****: once i get settled ima start taking classses once a week
SwEeT ****: like every saturday
deLeslie22: yea yea...quit our jobs!!!
SwEeT ****: haha
SwEeT ****: i think we should all take classes
SwEeT ****: and then teach each other what we learned
deLeslie22: yes...i wanna start taking theme very week too
SwEeT ****: then we'll all get dope
deLeslie22: i think the thurs one i can do
SwEeT ****: les do it yo
SwEeT ****: i'll go with u
deLeslie22: ok ok ok !!!
SwEeT ****: i'm d with that
deLeslie22: and i wanan do YOGA too!
SwEeT ****: i'm d for that too!
SwEeT ****: haha
SwEeT ****: yoga is the best
deLeslie22: ahahha we'rd gonna be dancing fools all the time
deLeslie22: hahah il ove it
SwEeT ****: good for the spirit
SwEeT ****: u know how when u dance u need to feel good about urself like free spirited
deLeslie22: yes yes yes
SwEeT ****: its like u can't force it
deLeslie22: totally
SwEeT ****: u gotta be free of all ur worries and all that bs
SwEeT ****: and just let go
SwEeT ****: sometimes thas hard for me to do
SwEeT ****: i catch myself being self-aware
SwEeT ****: but yoga helps with that
SwEeT ****: helps u get into that zone u need to be in
deLeslie22: omg...thats EXACTLy what i need
SwEeT ****: hahaha
deLeslie22: the past couple of years...i've totally become much mor self consiouc
SwEeT ****: i feel u man
deLeslie22: conscious...i cant type
SwEeT ****: dance is just as much spiritual as it is physical
SwEeT ****: mee too!
SwEeT ****: i think its part of our desire to improve
SwEeT ****: i think sometimes ambition gets in the way of expression
deLeslie22: and yea...dancing is my outlet man...but i find these days that even when i'm freestyling i'm all conscious and i HATE that
deLeslie22: omg...you just said it
SwEeT ****: mee tooo
deLeslie22: so well
deLeslie22: perfectly hahah
SwEeT ****: hahaha
SwEeT ****: yeah i love dancing but it only feels right when i'm totally enjoying it
SwEeT ****: if its forced or i'm trying to do "well"
SwEeT ****: then it doesn't come off right
deLeslie22: yea exactly...like we were at the house conference...and kris kept telling me to loosen up...ugh...i was trying to....but it was hard
SwEeT ****: like when i start thinking
SwEeT ****: i feeeel you
SwEeT ****: totally
deLeslie22: and i was trying to feel it..instead of letting myself go with it
SwEeT ****: yeeup
SwEeT ****: u gotta forget everyone else
SwEeT ****: and vibe off urself
deLeslie22: yea
SwEeT ****: sometimes watching other peeple dance can overwhelm you
SwEeT ****: it does for me
SwEeT ****: cuz i start connecting with their energy
SwEeT ****: instead of vibing off my own
deLeslie22: yes exactly...and i can't deal with their expectations i feel
SwEeT ****: yeah
SwEeT ****: but i dunno
SwEeT ****: i think that even if your technique isn't that good
SwEeT ****: and u truly are feeling it
SwEeT ****: then peeple can sense that
SwEeT ****: because they can feel the music in ur movements
SwEeT ****: you become the manifestation of the music in physical form
SwEeT ****: but then their are those that their technique is flawless....but u can't see that freedom
SwEeT ****: u kinda see the training instead
deLeslie22: YEA i don't like that
deLeslie22: its gotta be au naturale
SwEeT ****: yeah
SwEeT ****: i think there comes a point where u gotta let go
SwEeT ****: and the training will show naturally
11.07.2003
wanting to unfold...to be completely at the mercy of honesty and its little workers...insecurities...no more. fear...no more. jealousy...no more. i used to be so free being me...what has happened...struggling still with the desire for definition and clarity...and ultimate ambiguity. the standards become blurred with ambiguity...sometimes you need that. its time to transcend these barriers i have put up for myself...its ok to loosen that grip sometimes...you can always re-gain control. you can't regain time or lost opportunities though...
indecision has been my downfall so many times...shielding myself from pain a little too much...lets see if i actually act on this now...
delesliedeliciousdeclyde