We sell, crack to our own out the back of our homes
We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn
We go through "Epidodes II," like "Attack of the Clones"
Work 'til we break our back and you hear the crack of the bone
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We commute to computers
Spirits stay mute while you eagles spread rumors
We survivalists, turned to consumers
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Ask Him why some people got to live in a trailer, cuss like a sailor
I paint a picture with the pen like Norman Mailer
Me and Willa raised three daughters all by herself, with no help
I think about a struggle and I find the strength in myself
These words, melt in my mouth
They hot, like the jail cell in the South
Before my nigga Core bailed me out
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We do or die like Bed-Stuy through the red sky
with the window of the red eye
Let the lead fly, some G. Rap shit, "Livin' to Let Die"
This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my highs, and my lows
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smokin, and stop drinkin
And I've been thinkin - I've got my reasons
Just to get by, just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
We keeping it gangster say "fo shizzle", "fo sheezy" and "stayin crunk"
Its easy to pull a breezy, smoke trees, and we stay drunk
Yo, I activism - attackin the system, the blacks and latins in prison
Numbers of prison they victim black in the vision
Shit and all they got is rappin to listen to
I let them know we missin you, the love is unconditional
Even when the condition is critical, when the livin is miserable
Your position is pivotal, I ain't bullshittin you
Now, why would I lie? Just to get by?
Just to get by, we get fly
The TV got us reachin for stars
Not the ones between Venus and Mars, the ones that be readin for parts
Some people get breast enhancements and penis enlargers
Saturday sinners Sunday morning at the feet of the Father
They need somethin to rely on, we get high on all types of drug
When, all you really need is love
To get by.. just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Our parents sing like John Lennon, "Imagine all the people watch"
We rock like Paul McCartney from now until the last Beatle drop
This morning, I woke up
Feeling brand new and I jumped up
Feeling my high's, and my low's
In my soul, and my goals
Just to stop smoking, and stop drinking
And I've been thinking - I've got my reasons
Just to get by, just to get by
Just to get by, just to get by
Yoyoyo, yo
Some people cry, and some people try
Just to get by, for a piece of the pie
You love to eat and get high
We decieve when we lie, and we keepin it fly
Yoyoyo, yo
When, the people decide, to keep a disguise
Can't see they eyes, see the evil inside
But there's people you find
Strong or feeble in mind, I stay readin the signs
2.19.2003
i'm not a phone person. at all really. what does that say about me? maybe it's because the comfortable silences when you're with a person one-on-one become uncomfortable on the phone. i've been told i sound really rushed on the phone. that sucks...but i'm not sure how to alleviate that.
i guess it's related to the fact that i don't really talk or say all that much. i feel quite boring in that respect. i guess when i do have an opinion/idea, i do spew it out. but i have to be pretty comfortable with the people in that particular setting. i think i like to listen, absorb, taste, and sometimes analyze. its hard for me to form a coherent opinion when i don't have all the facts/history i deem necessary. i'm very unassuming. but often, that makes me feel as if people think i don't have an opinion. but i like being a wallflower, a people-watcher. or maybe i'm just tuned out...
are there times you feel nothing...whether it's because you're just worn out emotionally... or you don't want to deal right now...or you're straight up repressing it...
and then have ever wanted to start going thru the motions again, start the torturous cycle all over again, but can't find the strength to? i've really never experienced that ...until now. i've always been able to pull a bridget jones in times of insecurity and vulnerability. but to be quite honest, i'm tired of "renewing" myself. i'm being really melodramatic by the way. but i think i need that. i'm rarely melodramatic. i think.
rant and rave on lil girl...cuz i am. a lil girl. in so many ways. but that kinda helps me flow...flow under and beyond expectations layed out before me...and suddenly things are familiar again, comfortable. but comfort is too soon intoxicating and i feel the pull of the seemingly un-monotonous outer layer. i forgive and forget with the drop of a hat...and have confirmed clarity. or maybe it's all a lie and i'm still reaching.
well not allllllll over...but about 5 lil droppings spread out. i had no clue what they were...long, thick dustballs? no...they are mouse droppings. i thought i was the only one. but no...apparently everyone else has had mouse poop on their desk recently. thats really just lovely.
The concept of paradox is useful to our innocence. We keep it as a last defense, first erecting two other barriers. The first is not to look for, or not to see, those facts that challenge our deepest beliefs. The second is (when the world will not tolerate our ignorance) to keep separate in our consciousness those elements which, brought together, would explode the myths of our culture. When both those restraining walls collapse, we fall back, as an emergency measure, on the explanation: It's one of those paradoxes--an incredible but true combination.
With this triple defense, the liberal democracy of the Western world, bedecked with universal suffrage, parliamentary representation, technological progress, mass education, Bill of Rights, social welfare, has managed to maintain its reputation for beneficence--despite its record of imperalism, war, racism, and exploitation...
--howard zinn on war--
on the eve of what may be a declaration of war...lets all think about the cycle in which war and terrorism perpetuates. there is no answer...and war CERTAINLY is not the next best thing to an answer. millions of innocent lives are taken, communities ruined, billions of dollars spent, time wasted...all for what? for countries' egos to be enhanced and heightened.
i think that i have been quite the apathetic citizen for too long. i never vote, or take any action in the political realm ...but in all seriousness and not to be cheesy...WE can make a difference. or at least try. so anyways...yea we all gotta do our part...don't let the gov't take action on behalf of the entire nation....
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