9.25.2002
we have a flea-infested apartment. well, we think...we have all these gross bites. i thought it was allergies at first, but nope they definitely look like bites. gross!! i hate being so itchy. is this what it feels like to be a dog? po' po' dogs. isn't that something a landlord should take care of before renting out the apartment?
i didn't make it to the blackalicious/dilated peoples/public enemy concert last night. and now i definitely regret it. i knew i would. but at the same time, i really don't have the money, i didn't get out of work til half an hour before the show (and stil didn't have a ticket), and well no one to go with. altho i would have gone alone. but something about indoor concerts makes it harder to go solo than outdoor concerts. its ok..i really need to be more sparing with my money.
yea howie..i feel you...someone teach me to be more thrifty!!
9.23.2002
thank you dpma!! my page is back to her normal self.
so i didn't know this. until today. today is a beautiful beautiful day. every day is, i suppose. but it hasn't been a particulary bright day in awhile....
deLeslie22: hey..have you heard anything about culture shock new york recently
patyeechen: not yet but just email angie bunch and she should give you the details
patyeechen: philbunch@sdccu.net
deLeslie22: yea she gave me the name, email and number to this girl...i emailed and called her...no response
patyeechen: oh
deLeslie22: its all good
patyeechen: then I don't know
patyeechen: you know you can totally start one your own right
9.20.2002
hmm....not sure what happened...anyone know why my blogger is all big and expanded now?? i didn't touch the template...i dont' think...
me and my co-workers were talking about ignorance, in nyc. you would think that in such a diverse city as new york, you wouldn't find as much ignorance. but sadly, i haven't been able to confirm that with experience...
I had an interview for an assistant to the vp of some company, a few months back. He began by asking me to tell him about myself. So I gave my 5-10 minute schpeel about my experience, goals, skills, etc. He continues to ask maybe 2 or 3 more questions, and then explains that this is just a screening process, and will be calling people back for a 2nd interview the next week. He says that he doesn't see anything wrong with me...
The vp proceeds to ask me, "Were you born in the states?" which could be considered inappropriate, but whatever, no biggie... i answer 'yes', and he asks me what about my parents. so i tell him how my parents are originally from Taiwan, immigrated to the US in the 60's, and met in grad school.
AND THEN, he asks, "So, you're English is just good as mine or anyone else's?"...
(it's ok...let the jaw drop)
..."cuz you know it's really important that when you answer the phone, you can communicate effectively."
how are you supposed to respond to that??? i should have faked an accent right then and there or something....you got me...how did you know....?%$%!#%!!@!!
anyways. needless to say, i'm not working there. but kinda sad isn't it?
so NEwayz...fun weekend. i think the theme this past year has been ....music. everywhere. i went to yet another concert this past weekend...yet again at SummerStage. Except this time, it wasn't free. but realllly good....the lineup: cannibal ox, boot camp clik, amel larrieux, the roots and common. cannibal ox really doesn't excite me. but everyone else was awesome...rahzel and scratch their thing. my only complaint...common only came on for 3/4 songs. boo. but watever. and then dead prez came out at the end...with everyone else who performed. crazy chaotic....so fun!!
i'm going to see coldplay on thursday with jeyi and company. and then maybe blackalicious/public enemy/dilated peoples next tuesday...woohooo.
**********
it disturbs me how alot of movies/shows/media depicts those that are mentally ill as either merely dangerous, completely insane, or non-human. of course it makes for interesting plots and characters, but they never show the emotional torment and struggle that these people go through. Except for some personality disorders, most of the mentally ill know that they are ill. but knowing doesn't mean you can just snap your fingers and stop it. it's alot of torture...having your mind play tricks with you...and not being able to function normally, yet wanting to so badly. it's often a lonely, extremely difficult battle EVERY day...
9.13.2002
oh yea i added some links...yay!! so many people are joining the blogging revolution...check out mr filipno (the energizer bunny), mixed messages (mr. floetic himself), and ofoaca (aka guns).
thank goodness its friday. just like our lil bulldog friend, i'm feeling quite relieved its the end of the week. i'm still getting used to the detail-intensiveness of work and continue to make mistakes...
but tonite we're celebrating Je-Yi's birthday...we're all gonna get silly and have a heluva good time.
9.12.2002
hmm...good question. what does the song mean to me? (...keep the comments coming...i love em...)
its weird how some songs can evoke so much emotion when they really don't even make that much sense. that's tori amos in a nutshell. she captures so much rawness in every song...with the craziest lyrics sometimes. i read somewhere that sometimes she creates her lyrics just by stringing all her doodled phrases together. but sometimes the ambiguity in such randomness is just what i need. in those times where nothing makes sense, where everything you think you know about yourself and the world goes out the window. where all you need is vision, but something or someone has stripped all that precious perspective away, at least momentarily.
and so although i really have no idea what weiland is trying to convey in plush, its a check in the mirror for me. kind of. its me taking a good look at myself...starting with the eyes and hands and feet of disarray...seeing the vulnerability, the indecision, the passiveness. its for when i'm not dancing. literally or figuratively. cuz you see dancing equals vitality to me...
cuz every minute that i choose not to face all that schtuff i don't want to results in lies to come. i easily get lost in today...and i let things play with my confidence...and altho i think that rain in the bedroom is so necessary...you can only see that retrospectively. so it all goes back to perspective...leslie, how's the weather today? that's up to you....and nobody else....
i mean you need those moments of doubt. and what a better companion during those times than great songs like this. isn't that so ironic? i know everyone does it too...when you're in a bad/sad/depressed/lonely mood, you listen to slow, sad music...i guess somehow it consoles you...
9.10.2002 And I feel that time's a wasted go
So where ya going ´til tomorrow?
And I see that these are lies to come
Would you even care?
And I feel it
And I feel it
Where ya going for tommorrow?
Where ya going with that mask I found?
And I feel, and I feel
When the dogs begin to smell her
Will she smell alone?
And I feel, so much depends on the weather
So is it raining in your bedroom?
And I see, that these are the eyes of disarray
Would you even care? And I feel it
And she feels it... --plush, stp--
9.04.2002
i'm definitely feeling it again....that ache to dance again. all the signs are pointing to it...all of us have been looking for a group this past year, and then a couple more friends have moved into the city that dance also. its the beginning of the school year where all the 2xs emails are enthusiastic....
but still, we have no opportunity. well, i guess we have to create the opportunity. I'm pretty good at that...being the one to get things happening. but it's not that easy this time. obviously, space is a huge issue. sadly, space = money in new york. but then, there's even a broader question we have to ask ourselves...who would we perform for? would we have a greater purpose? would we try to gather more people? if so, how??? aagh...there's so many complications in starting up something...
i even called up (after previously emailing) that girl who's supposedly starting up the new york branch of culture shock. her message even asked you to leave your info. ESP. if you're calling for culture shock news. but to my luck, no return call. so maybe this whole culture shock thing isn't gonna happen for me. at least the opportunity for it to happen. but it's so frustrating, cuz it seems to flaunt itself in front of me wherever i go. i know i've said a million times...i love their style, purpose, ability, and depth. i can't let go dammit.
but i wanna dance...dancing in my room doesn't cut it anymore.
haha. yes it is that special. fun weekend...big things happened for me. well, ok ...one big thing...i had my 1st martini!!
gawd i sound like i just turned 21, hahah.
on saturday, a bunch of us we all went out to Lot 61, this nice lounge in Chelsea. they're known for their 61 martinis...using fresh fruit juices and what not. so amit got his usual apple martini...WOW. they put in cinnamon and applesauce....oh so good. and very very light. i had to get one....and i actually finished it.
delesliedeliciousdeclyde